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Saying Goodbye: “I Really Don’t Want to Do This”

An old saying, “Time flies when you’re having fun,” is actually true in that just a few short years ago I began my journey at Missouri Baptist University. And now that it’s over and I have begun the next phase of my life, I look back with fond memories, and a few final reflections.

Photo provided by Abby Kassebaum

Two people who I have worked for at Missouri Baptist University, Ashlee Johnson (left) and Bryce Chapman (right), and that’s me in the middle. These are two of the exceptional individuals I worked with during my time at MBU.


I have a distinct memory of driving to Missouri Baptist University in August of 2014. My car was loaded with my belongings and my heart was racing.

As I drove the whopping 25 minutes away from home, I felt as if I was headed to Timbuktu. I remember taking the exit onto Mason Road and thinking to myself, “I really don’t want to do this.”

I was so afraid of the unknown and have never been a fan of change.

In hindsight, I was only moving down the road just a short drive away from family and had several familiar faces joining me at MBU. I had it easy compared to many of my classmates who were moving hundreds of miles from home, but at the time it felt as if my world had turned upside down.

As I moved into the dorm and my classes began, I struggled to feel at home.

I met a few girls in my hall who seemed to have a lot in common with me, but at the time I was employed at the local outlet mall, which forced me to work many nights and weekends while most social events were happening.

A few weeks into the semester I spoke with my collegiate seminar teacher and she informed me of a job opportunity in the Admissions Office. The Lord had answered my prayers and opened a door for me to feel more connected to campus.

Soon enough, I was spending hours at a time on campus, meeting new faces and learning the ins and outs of MBU.

When I was feeling lonely or anxious, I found  safety in that office knowing there was always someone nearby with a listening ear or word of encouragement.

I found this compassion for students as a common theme for any faculty or staff member I encountered.

The girls I met in my hall became some of my best friends. Friendships I believe could last a lifetime.

Together, we shared in each others’ joys such as graduation, engagements and job opportunities, and sorrows such as break-ups, homesickness or even losing a parent.

There are countless staff members who have invested their time, love and energy into me.

I have yet to meet a faculty or staff member here who has not acted as my biggest cheerleader.

They offered words of wisdom as I decided to change career paths and celebrated with me in my accomplishments.

As I drove to campus for my last day of classes, to the place I had I spent countless hours and created lifelong memories, that same thought popped into my mind. 

“I really don’t want do this.”

While saying goodbye is never easy, I find myself smiling through the tears, knowing that I am blessed to have something so wonderful that makes it so hard to say goodbye.

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Abby Kassebaum

Abby Kassebaum

Abby Kassebaum is a staff journalist for MBU Timeline. Abby is studying public relations and plans to pursue a career in non-profit fundraising. She works for MBU’s Admissions Office and interns in the University Advancement Office.


About MBU Timeline


Here are some interesting facts about MBU Timeline, the student newsmagazine of Missouri Baptist University, in St. Louis:
*Our mission statement is: MBU Timeline is the student news network of Missouri Baptist University, a private Christian university that embraces the essential core value of “social change through service and leadership.”
*The Bible verse that drives our mission is 2 Timothy 2:15 (Worldwide English Version): “Tell the true message in the right way.”
*The WordPress website has been up since late-fall 2013. We average about 3,000 sessions and about 5,000 pageviews per month.
*Our stories and galleries get as few as 40 or 50 hits, or as many as 8,000 hits.
*We have readers in every state and more than 90 countries around the world. We have several readers in South America, the United Kingdom, India and Australia.
*Most of our readers are in Missouri, followed by Illinois, California and Texas.
*We do not accept advertising as we are a not-for-profit online newsmagazine.
*We welcome contributors from all walks of MBU life, regardless of your major. Reach out to us on Twitter at: @mbutimeline.