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Pass the Cheetos, it’s Finals Week

Lack of sleep … check. Snacks and coffee … of course. Stress … plenty. Note card … I’ll protect it with my life. Ah, the rituals of Final Exams Week. But fear not, it will all be over soon.


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By CHAD OTEC

With finals week upon us and the ever-so-long wait for Christmas break coming to an end, one has to wonder if all the stresses of finals week are dangerous and how much of a toll they take on students.

After students get over the shock of finals week thrusting itself upon them, some pretty disgusting things happen in those seven days.

Sure, we can all pretend at times that we are calm and collected, but the stress eats at us slowly but surely.

Or in some cases, it just up and thrusts itself upon us.

These stresses tend to make students act like dysfunctional robots.

To start, students will begin calculating the minimal score they need to pass the class, already setting the table for failure.

This will be followed by a long depressing series of nights which include an abnormal amount of stalking friends on Instagram and Twitter to pass the time when you should be studying, followed by binge eating Mint Milanos and Cheetos.

Students spend these nights cramming all that we can into our overpacked brain until the break of dawn. Then we try to wake up after 3 hours of sleep and retain the information. Which we never seem to do.

Now due to the lack of sleep and junk food we consume, we are all walking, grumpy, violently ill zombies with very little dignity and a bunch of unorganized note cards.

We tend to wear the first thing we see in the morning, regardless if it is clean or dirty, as long as it is somewhat warm.

Not only do the finals go about half as well as planned, but wait, don’t forget about the eight-page research paper due by midnight which you haven’t started.

Yes there will be the gracious teacher whose final is not overly difficult, and there will even be the saint who lets you use the note card for the final.

This note card is not only your best friend this week, but your only friend this week, so you will treat it with such care and write ever so tiny on it.

But with the good comes the bad, and there will be the professor who gives you a final that they cannot even pass and it will make you hate your life.

These are the finals that you take, then you rapidly break down afterwards and become nauseous immediately.

But students will survive finals week by a thread and their lives will go on.

Of course you will have gained 10 pounds and 15 pimples, and let’s not forget about the nasty cold you have.

All of these things just go to show that finals week is an awful time for most students.

Not only is it stressful, but some could even go as far to say that it is threatening to young college students.

Finals week should be banned from college campuses so us students can enjoy our golden years while they are right in front of us. Meanwhile, where’s that bag of Goldfish?

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