Victoria Scheibe reflects on her time studying at a prestigious university — Oxford.
I had a dream the other night.
In fact, this dream rather a nightmare, as it terrified me.
In this nightmare, I returned from Oxford to St. Louis and I resumed my old job and resumed the work that I need to do at Missouri Baptist Univerisity, as if nothing had ever happened.
Nobody noticed that I was different, or that I had left.
None of my experience mattered or was any sort of deal.
I woke up from this nightmare with a feeling of dread.
Being a constant analyzer of dreams, the message this dream was shouting was clear.
I don’t want to be unchanged.
This experience at Oxford is something that I’ve never experienced before.
I’ve never lived with a roommate before, as I’ve always lived at home and commuted to MBU.
I’ve never been to another country on my own.
I’ve never had to make friends fast.
I’ve never had to grocery shop for myself consistently.
All of these things that I’ve never done before, I’m experiencing now.
And I can’t remain unchanged.
Part of the reason as to why I’m here is so that I could explore myself and be challenged, and I suppose my fear is that those things will not happen to me.
So, instead of letting this fear conquer me, I’m going to face it head on.
I’m going to do everything that I’ve always been afraid to do, and I’m going to come back to St. Louis a changed person for the better…and perhaps a different accent as well.