We should always make an effort to see the positive qualities in people rather than the negative.
I think that too often people tend to look at others and automatically see their flaws. It’s common, especially for women, to pick apart other women in their heads.
I know this because I’m sometimes guilty of it myself.
Why is this?
It’s because when we can look at someone else and see something that isn’t perfect it tends to make us feel better about ourselves.
For instance, I’m self conscious of my weight (who isn’t), but when I see someone who is obviously larger than myself, I think, “at least I’m smaller than them.”
But isn’t that sad? We should be confident enough that we don’t have to look for insecurities in others to feel secure in ourselves.
I believe that instead of seeing someone and searching for his or her flaws, we should see someone and search for the things that we love about them.
Romans 12:10 says: “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
By doing this, we will begin to see the world with brighter eyes.
The little things about someone that you were once using to tear others down in hopes of building yourself up will start to fade away as you fill those spots with things you enjoy about that person.
Not only should we change the way we think when we are trying to promote our own self-esteem at the expense of another, but we should also consider changing our outlook toward others all together.
No matter how much you dislike someone, if you search, you can always find a reason why they act the way they do.
My senior year of high school I was a student leader in the youth group I attended. This meant that I was working hands-on with the younger students and acting as a mentor.
Throughout the year I got to know quite a few of the students on a personal level while leading small groups and just spending as much quality time with them as possible.
There was one girl in particular who would always interrupt during our small groups.
It seemed obvious that she wanted attention. She took every possible opportunity to talk and be the center of every conversation.
At first it really bothered me. I just wanted to get through the list of questions and give the other students a chance to talk.
But eventually I found out about the girl’s home life. It turned out this girl came from a broken home.
Her dad wasn’t involved her life at all and her mom was always bringing home different men.
After finding out how her life was outside of our group, the way she acted inside the group started to make a lot more sense.
Just like you, every person has a past, a history, one that may or may not be devastating.
So next time you start picking apart someone, remember that the little things you may find annoying might be there because something has caused them to be.
John 15:12 says: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
Therefore, pick apart with love, pointing out the good things rather than the bad.